Two Decades

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This is my twenty. 

Twenty years behind, a lifetime ahead. starting here, with words.

The year where I stop apologising for who I am, the year I carry my past without letting it weigh me down, and the year I embrace the person I have grown into.

___

I used to be the kind of person who could walk into any room and walk out with a new friend. My laughter was loud, my words never seemed to run out, and silence was something I barely knew. Wherever I went, I carried a kind of lightness that made me feel like I could belong anywhere. But then, life happened. One thing, one turning point, was enough to change the way I saw the world and the way the world saw me. And suddenly, I was no longer that girl.

Now I am quieter with people I do not know, careful with my words, and slower to adapt to new surroundings. It took me three long semesters to find my place in diploma life and even then, it never felt like slipping into old skin. It felt like growing into someone completely new.

I have learned to enjoy being alone. Solitude is no longer loneliness to me, it is a place where I can breathe. Still, I cherish good company when it comes, the kind that feels safe and unforced, where presence speaks louder than words.

___

There was a time when I dreamed endlessly about marriage. I thought it was the ultimate goal, the most beautiful chapter to look forward to. But as I grew older, I realised it is not my priority anymore. I am in no rush. If the time comes, it will come. For now, I want to live for myself, in the way that feels right for me.

___

I used to be firm, unafraid to stand up for myself, unwilling to let anyone cross the line. I fought for what I believed in, even when it was exhausting. But now, I have let some of that go. Not because I do not care, but because I have made peace with not having to fight every battle. I have learned to let things be, to choose my peace over my pride even if sometimes it costs me.

And yet, despite all these changes, or maybe because of them, I am proud of who I have become. I am not the same person I was years ago, and that is the point. I am softer, quieter, perhaps a little more guarded. But I am also wiser, stronger in ways that cannot be seen, and more at peace with myself than I have ever been.

___

To the girl who made it all through, a very happy birthday to you🌒

Yours truly,

Syaf Sal

12:08 PM

Student Affair Department, PTSB.




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