Even in Silence, It's You

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Dear Jasmin ⚘,

Honestly, I’m not surprised that my fourth post will still be about you. It feels like I dedicated this whole blog to you haha.

Lately, I’ve been dreaming of you more often. So often that I’ve lost count. Even last night, you were there again. Maybe it’s because I think of you too much when I’m awake, and when I finally close my eyes, my mind just continues the same story with you in it. It’s like you never really leave my mind, not even for a moment. Sometimes the dreams feel so real that I wake up with a heart that aches, wishing I could stay asleep just to be with you a little longer.

Every single day, without fail, you linger in my head. Every place I go, I find myself hoping to see you. Even if it’s just by chance, even if it’s just for a second. My thoughts keep circling back to you. It’s like you’ve carved a permanent space in my mind, and I don’t even know how to erase it, or if I even want to.

Most of the time, whatever I choose to do, it somehow leads back to you. Sometimes it’s intentional, sometimes it’s not, but in the end, it always comes back. I catch myself wishing you were the reason behind my choices, my actions, my little victories. Like I want everything to hold a piece of you, even if you’ll never know it.

You’ve become the silent thread that ties everything together in my life. The invisible presence behind my thoughts, my dreams, my hopes. It’s a strange kind of devotion, one I never planned, but one that feels impossible to stop. And I can’t decide if it’s beautiful or if it’s quietly breaking me from the inside. Maybe it’s both.

All I know is, you’ve become the quiet constant in my heart. The one I return to, again and again, without question. Even if you don’t know it. Even if you’ll never know it.

And maybe, that’s just how it will always be me, writing these words in silence, while you live in them without ever realizing how much space you take up in my world. 

raw insert //

And just as I’m writing this, your name suddenly appeared on my screen. Just like the universe reminding me that even when I’m quietly pouring my heart here, you’re still somewhere out there, living, breathing, and crossing paths with me in the smallest way :))

With silent admiration,

Syaf Sal

2:38 AM

Beneath the same sky.


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